i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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