I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
