i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
