So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
