I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She needs sedatives and a leash
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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