They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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