how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
