I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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