covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
