garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
