I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
