He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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