Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
