i just google imaged poop.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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