I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
