I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
