He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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