Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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