She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
