my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I believe in your delicious
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
