On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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