He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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