I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
