hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
