I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
