I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
