We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
