You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
