Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
