so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
