You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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