Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
...so i touched it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Randomize
