Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
no, he came in my armpit
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize