I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
