What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
