You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
