All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
