okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
