I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize