They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
