I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My balls are so social today.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
