I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
