You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
