So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
