She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
