If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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