I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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