3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize