i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
