listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
