considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize