he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
