dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
