I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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