I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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