Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
