The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
