I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
