I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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