woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
