Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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