one two three fourrrrnication!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
