i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize