Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
