just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize