It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
