Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
