$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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