If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
