great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
