Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
