does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
