people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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