Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And then he peed in my hair
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
