Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
