found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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