Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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