Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
