Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
