What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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