we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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