Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
